I’m a 20-year-old Dutch anorexia nervosa survivor, fully recovered for a bit over five years now. My eating disorder started when I was 12 and shaped almost everything in my life for a long time, my thoughts, my body, my mood, my friendships, my family life, and my future.
From the outside, people didn’t always see how loud the illness was in my head. Yes they saw a lot of weightloss but it wasn’t just about food and weight, it was about fear, control, perfectionism, and feeling like I wasn’t “enough.” Little things could feel impossible: eating a normal meal, joining a birthday dinner, going to school without anxiety, or simply being present in the moment.
Anorexia isolated me. I cancelled plans, avoided social situations, and slowly became more and more alone. Friends wanted to help, but didn’t know what to do or say. Some pulled away because it was confusing or scary. Some stayed, but I still felt alone, because anorexia had its own rules and it didn’t want me to connect.
The hardest part was watching what it did to my parents. They loved me deeply, but they were exhausted and anxious. They tried everything: encouraging, pushing, staying calm, getting angry, crying, bargaining, and often all in the same day. And because they cared so much, they often said and did the “wrong” things with the best intentions. Not because they failed, but because no one teaches you how to support a child who is fighting an illness like this.
Recovery changed my life. It wasn’t quick or simple at all, but it was possible, and so is it for your child. Step by step I learned to separate me from the eating disorder, to build trust again, and to choose a life that is bigger than fear. That experience is the reason I do what I do today.
Now I use my lived experience, combined with my psychology studies, to help parents support their child through recovery with clarity, compassion, and practical guidance. Because parents play a powerful role in recovery.
You don’t have to do this perfectly. You just have to stay connected, informed, and supported. Recovery is definitely possible, with the right help and the right support at home.